Card Game! Excellent!
I found this to be an intriguing game! My card game skills are a bit rusty since I haven't played since the war but, I did manage to avoid a dromple. I am surprised by the amount of review claiming this game is impossible. Haven't these people ever played cards? Anyways, I will attempt to educate these poor commoners who can't grasp the finer concepts of playing a card game...
As you SHOULD know, the point is to win. You can do this in one of two ways, both of which you already know. We also know you can only place even cards between 2 and 8 inclusive in attack mode and any face card or the 9 in defense mode. Since we don't have a 4 and 1/2 of clubs we can't play a squid and without one we are open to an attack of 2's. Thus by opening our 2nd position by burning our 3 for the +5 dexterity bonus we are actually go down 2 dex. due to the paralyzing effects of the spades. We can always play the 7 of hearts for a 1 turn strength X2 bonus, but with his Magna Carta in play from last Halloween, it's effects are negated and we are unable to discard.
I will return to complete my instructions on how to play a card game after I compare notes with Magical Trevor.
Good Day!
(Note: this is a completely legitimate guide on how to play a card game, so please don't delete it...)
Badly Done 
! Fishy !